I Am Still Here

Strangely enough, I have been writing quite a lot, just not here. Inside my head I have so much writing to do that there isn't time for any of it. Also, I am enjoying the complete secrecy of Penzu and find my nervousness about writing finding its way into the public domain is growing. I have always resisted writing letters, or if I have written them, it's a bugger to actual get myself to post them. Something about writing feels so powerful and 'final' as if I will be held to account for any trivial thing I commit to the page. Hence, my eternal writer's block. As long as I am not actually 'doing' anything, I can sneak up on writing and get some 'unattached' stuff out there. But as soon as serious intent enters the picture, I am frozen. Parts of me stop listening to other parts of me. I lose control and most of my personal credibility with it. It's worse than finding your knicker elastic has stopped working. Humiliating, but in a very personal way. No one else can feel it like you do. Anyway, I am beginning to feel a little exposed so that's it for today. I need to think about why writing makes me so nervous. Angels x

Being Unfaithful

I have been away from my blog for a while (not as long as the last time, but a few days, nonetheless), but I have been writing and would like to talk about where I have been writing, as I have really enjoyed the experience. A link on another writer's blog led me to Penzu (now I realise I have to learn how to put links in here... another 10 hours out of my life!!!!) but I'm sure you can google them as well. They offer a great 'notepad' for journaling or writing without posting. It can be completely secure and 'locked' like one of those diaries with a padlock and key that I lusted after when I was a little girl. The freedom it gave me to write whatever came up was wonderful. At times it felt like a walk on the dark side, but such fun. I have been using it to do my Morning Pages (sometimes known as ooops, it's evening already - will they still count?) and speed up my typing. The latter has not really happened, but I am gaining in typing stamina, so a page is nothing for me now!!! I fear that my typing style is never going to achieve speed, but I now know I can expect to do a page within 20 minutes (half an hour on a sticky day). This is a source of simple pride to me, I am a simple girl! So thanks to Alex, who introduced me to the other writer's blogs through her blog and to Penzu for giving me free virtual notepads for life!! Angels x